I have to write this. Please do not judge me about the situation that took place this morning. It’s ok if you do, as long as you know you’re not perfect either. #momlife
This is my son Abram. Some of you may (or may not) know that he is a seriously difficult kid. Cute and funny, but difficult. Oh my word.
He is pretty cute though, right?
Abram has so many great qualities. It took a long time to see them because the negative in his personality far outweighed the positive. As he has gotten older those positive traits have been able to come out and I have been able to enjoy him so much more. Don’t get me wrong, he is my son and I love him more than anything, but I have not always *enjoyed* him.
For the past year Abram has been in therapy at Kennedy Krieger. I have been saving this post for his “graduation day” but today, I need to talk about it.
I will give you a few brief details about what I just shared.
First, KK is AMAZING and we have been 100% satisfied with he services we have received there. They have given me the tools to properly support, care and discipline my children and have given Abram the tools he needs to deal with his issues. I am a better Mom to my children because of our time there.
What are Abram’s issues? <’cause I got issues, but you got ’em too> Sorry, musical interlude.
I say issues because you understand what I mean when I say issues, but really it is just that Abram needs some extra support with some things that he struggles with. I got to a point where I felt helpless and I did not know what else to do to help my son. Things weren’t changing or getting better and I could see that if things didn’t improve, I wasn’t sure what might come of my son or our family in the future.
Abram has a very “passionate” disposition. That means that whether Abram is happy or angry, it is expressed with sincere passion. As you can imagine, passionately happy is not a challenge. Passionately angry… well this creates some issues. Abram also struggles with mild anxiety and has some mild sensory issues that are triggers for his behavioral outbursts (before I knew it was a sensory thing, I thought he had a mild version of OCD, if that helps you understand what “sensory thing” is and didn’t feel like google-ing it).
Since we started going to Kennedy Krieger last year, Abram ‘s behavior is about 85% better than it was prior to therapy which means Abram’s quality of life is better and so is it for the people around him. Mainly his family. Mainly me. And Lucy because she isn’t getting beat up any more. Well, maybe pushed once in a while.
So, that is all I am goin to share about that but I would LOVE to talk with you more if you have questions or would like more information on our situation. I am an open book and do not mind sharing these things with you. My recommendation though, if you feel that you are at wits end with your strong willed or difficult child, or you feel that you do not have the skills to properly parent your child (for any reason), seeking help or support will be the best thing you ever did for your child… and yourself. I was apprehensive for various reasons but I am so glad that we made this decision.
With all of that being said, we still have bad days. Bad season. Bas moments. This morning, not an exception.
I knew that today would be a hard day. The children have been able to sleep in as long as they have wanted all break and have had little routine in the mornings since we haven’t had to run around to get ready for school. It has been wonderful.
I thought my struggle today would be with Lucy since she is the child that does not like school and does not like mornings. However, she surprised me when she willingly got ready for school in an appropriate time frame with minimal complaints. Yay for Lucy!
Abram, well, I had to nudge and encourage him a bit more because he over slept a little and left himself little “chill time” before we had to get out the door. The hardest part of the morning for Abram is getting dressed. Not because he doesn’t want to, but like I mentioned above, he’s a little particular about things. Particularly how his clothes fit, or feel. We pick his clothes out the night before to avoid outfit fights but though his outfit may be something he has worn 10 times, if it is a little stretched or tight or short (or not perfectly square to his toes…) on a particular morning, then comes the tantrum.
We are working on how to properly communicate our feeling when this happens but this is a big trigger for him and will likely turns into a tantrum. Once he gets mad, he shuts down and there is little we can do to get him out of his “mood”. On a weekend or any time we are not under a time constraint, this situation may be handled a bit differently and have a different outcome but when you are trying to get to school in the next five minutes so that you aren’t late… again… the heat is on.
Have I mentioned, I may have a bit of a temper too?