Category Archives: Lucy

I Hate Kindergarten

It’s true.

Ever since Lucy started Kindergarten, she simultaneously became a grumpy, mean old Monster.

Now, I know that 90% of the reason is probably because she is tired and when Lucy is tired is shows up as rebellious attitude. And, I know she has to follow instructions all day long in school so probably it is hard to follow more instructions at home. Trying to keep all of that in mind I should probably consider adjusting my expectations of her when she gets home from School but there are just some things that can’t be adjusted and just need to be understood and accepted whether you want to obey or not. Especially having a joyful attitude with the people you have to interact with. Obviously I can’t make her be “joyful” but it is really hard to deal with the rudeness and unkindness in her attitude and actions.

I also hate Kindergarten because it has been revealing some of the sins that are in Lucy’s heart that I didn’t know were there before. Actually, this is a good thing but a sad thing at the same time. Good because now I know what her struggles are and I can help her but sad because you don’t want to see the ugliness that is in your children. For example, Lucy really cares what other people think about her. So much so that it affects what I am allowed to pack her for lunch and obviously what she wears to school. I know that this is normal, especially for girls, but I never realized how much of her life she spends worrying about what other people think. If she wasn’t in this environment or situation I would have never noticed. Maybe I would have eventually?

Noticing this in Lucy has given me a lot of opportunities to talk to her and to ask deep questions. It has also allowed me to pray more specifically for her and research ways to help her in this sin (or “state of mind”). It is upsetting though, you want your child to be confident in who they are, to be proud of how God made them (different and unique) and own their choices. I want her to be a leader, not a follower. Do you know what life looks like for a teenager who is a follower? Well I certainly do and that is not a life I want for my child. The only person I want her to follow is Jesus.

If I had known then what I know now, gosh, I wish I did not care half as much as I did about other people. I wish I always embraced my weirdness unique abilities. It is so freeing not caring what other people think about you.


There have been some good things about Kindergarten. I know there are probably a lot of good things that I haven’t been able to see yet. But right now, I’m distracted by the negatives because that is what effects our lives on a daily basis right now.

I know 100% that Lucy is where she is supposed to be and I have complete peace with sending her to public school vs. Homeschooling or Private School. It has just been a hard adjustment for all of us and in different ways than I had expected.

And don’t worry, Lucy isn’t the only one who doesn’t have it together. Where God has given me supernatural grace and patience these past few weeks, there has also been a lot of attitude problems on my end too. I am grateful that God has a plan for my children and though I play an incredibly important role in their lives, their future does not solely rest on my ability of being a perfect Mother. Normally I would beat myself up and feel guilty thinking “I am ruining them! I am a terrible Mother!” but Gods plan for them is already written and despite my failures, He does not fail. As long as I continue to trust the Lord and “Train up {my} child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6), they will be alright! I am not perfect and can not be perfect. I want to be the perfect Mother but reality is that I am not. None of us are.

Grateful that we have a perfect Father in Heaven that we can call upon when we are in need. And are at wit’s end. And don’t know how your children will ever turn out right since you too are grumpy. And when none of the other girls wear blue shorts so she can’t possibly wear blue shorts.  And Like when your 5yo tells you that “you are THE WORST Mother in the WHOLE WORLD and I  wish I had a different nicer Mommy!”. #5goingon15


I blame it all on Kindergarten.

Don’t worry. I still love that grumpy mean old Monster and I am glad God gave her this WORST Mommy in the WHOLE WORLD to be her Mom.

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Kindergarten, Day 1

Lucy first dayToday marks the first day of the next 12 years.

I wouldn’t say it started off on a high note. Of course, on the only day she is not allowed to sleep in, she sleeps in and I have to wake her up for school.

Me: Lucy, good morning!

Lucy: I don’t want to wake up.

Me: Do you know what day it is?

Lucy: School Day.

Me: It’s Kindergarten Day!

Lucy: Kindergarten, here I DON’T come!

Despite the lack of excitement, as soon as she saw some of her school friends waiting to go into the building, she perked up and nearly walked through the door without saying “goodbye”. Luckily last minute she ran over and gave me a hug and a kiss.

And then I cried. Big ugly tears. I look to my right, most of the other Mom’s are crying too. I am glad it is normal.

After pick-up, the consensus is that Lucy likes school. Well thank goodness! <wink>


On a side note, I would just like to share another conversation I had today with my lovely 5yo.

Lucy: (while hand resting on my stomach) Mom, are you pregnant?

Me: No Lucy, I’m not pregnant.

Lucy: (rubbing my belly) I think you could be pregnant and just not know it yet.

Me: I’m not pregnant.

Well goodness. I know I have been off track for the past three weeks but goodness. I guess I can use that for a little motivation…


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The Big Year

On Monday, my first-born will be starting full day Kindergarten. Though she has been to Pre-school for the past two years, I am not sure how I am going to handle this since she has mainly been at home with me for the past five and a half years.

<insert ugly cry>

I am happy and sad at the same time. I am SUPER excited that she has the wonderful opportunity to go to school and experience so many new and fun things. I am sad that for the next 12ish years, I am not going to be her main influence anymore. I am not going to know everything that she is doing and I wont be able to take her on spontaneous weekday trips while the rest of the world is in school. I know that she will love it and I am certain this is the right thing for her, but it is just hard. Bittersweet.

Before this new adventure begins I wanted to document all of the amazing things that has happened to Lucy this past year (and what she is like). You don’t have to keep reading, I like to document these things for my own personal reference.


At age five, Lucy lost her first tooth! She learned how to blow her first bubble with Bubble Gum and snap her fingers. Lucy learned how to do a cartwheel and was in her first Fashion Show. For the first time Lucy expressed a desire to marry a certain little boy and went under water while holding her nose (this is a biggie since Lucy is afraid of the water and has no desire to swim).

Lucy has an attitude like a teenager and loves to bargain in order to get her way. She is so girly. So, so girly. Heels, make-up, lotion, clothes… I don’t know where she gets it. I think she has a future as a hairstylist because she can sit and do her dolls hair for hours. She loves to dance and loves practicing her gymnastics. Her number one desire right now is to own an American Girl Doll.

Sometimes Lucy loves her brother and sometimes, often, she doesn’t want him bothering her. It is sad as a parent to watch and listen to but the other moments are so sweet it kind of makes up for it. She is a good big sister and does take care of him, she would just rather he wouldn’t touch her stuff.


Lucy is counting down the days until she can be a Babysitter. She loves babies.

When I look at Lucy, she just doesn’t look like a little girl anymore (she does and she doesn’t). She is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. I love every ounce of her (even when she is really getting on my nerves).

“Good luck” in Kindergarten Kiddo… I know it is going to be awesome!!


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Second Generation Problem

This morning when my daughter climbed into bed with me she seemed troubled. Before I could say something and ask what was bothering her she said:

“Mom, a girl stuck her tongue out at me two times last night at the party.”

“She did? Why did she do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you say something to her or accidentally bump into her?”

“No, I was just staring at her.”

“Ooooh. Yeah. That explains it. People don’t like it when you do that.”


I have written a post before about mybad” habit. Looks like some things are genetic.





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Do we always like our kids?

photoI was talking with a friend of mine who is having a hard time parenting her 18 month old son. She says to me: “I feel like such a bad Mom; I do not always like my Son. He is very difficult to deal with and is always yelling and screaming. When I get on Facebook, everyone loves being a Mother and loves having children- I just do not feel that way”.

Well, she is not alone, is she ladies? I know that I am not out of line in saying that this is a VERY common feeling! I have been there these past few weeks myself. Parenting is HARD! Being a Mom is hard. No doubt about it. Sure, there are seasons of parenting that are easier than others, but as a whole, this is the hardest job in town.

I know it is super easy to get caught up in the “I am a terrible Mom” mindset. Especially when we are comparing ourselves to the “Highlight Reel” of “Super Mom’s” on Facebook and Instagram. Be assured, there is no such thing. Often times, the pictures I post on social media are the only joyful moments of the day! The rest of the time when I am not posting pictures, I am cleaning  dried up food off of the walls and disciplining a little boy who can’t seem to grasp the idea that hitting his Sister with a bat is a bad thing.

To the Mom who is chasing after aggressive and energetic boys, or arguing with a strong-willed daughter, or a Mom who has a new baby who won’t stop crying and never sleeps… You are normal. This is normal. We are in this together. We WILL get through it! We will. It gets better.

Take a deep breath. It will all be okay. It will. We will.

I love my kids. Do I always like my kids? Sometimes, no. But I do want to be the best Mother I can be and love these little gremlins even when I feel they are not worthy of being loved for the moment.

Are you with me?

We are Mom’s! We have the greatest most important job in the world. It is not always easy. We are never going to be perfect. BUT, it is SO worth it.

We can’t do it alone so go call someone. Pray. Go on a date. Drop that kid off at Grandma’s!  Take a nap. Put on a darn movie (Do it I won’t think any less of you).


And that, is my trying to encourage the weary Mom. Do you feel encouraged? <wink>



“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

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My Big Little 4 Year Old

Iphone Pics 2014 875

“Her smile beams like sunshine, which fills our hearts with love.” – Unknown


Future memoir of a 4-year-old, as told by Lucy… 

What is your Favorite color? “All of the colors”

What is your favorite food? “Spaghetti”

What food do you not like? “Purple Lettuce”

What is your favorite movie? “Herkaleez (Hercules)”

Who is your best friend? “Evie, Vincent, Eli, Hannah, Brooklyn, Mosley, Abram, Cousins…

What is your favorite book? “I Am Sam”

What do you like to learn in school? “Nothing, we just don’t learn nothing in school.”   [clearly]

Is there something that you are afraid of? “Monsters”

What do you want to be when you grow up? “A real Teacher and Fashion Girl”

What is your favorite thing about Daddy? “He gives me a hug and kiss.”

What is your favorite thing about Mommy? “You say “good morning” to me when you wake up.”

What is your favorite thing about Abram? “That he goes to bed and we can watch movies when he goes to bed.”

What is one thing you hope to do as a 4-year-old?


Lucy, your Daddy and I love you very much. Words can not express the joy you bring to our lives. Over the past four years I have not only seen you grow physically, but have witnessed your personality grow and mature as well. Though you are still little in size, you have a very big heart. You love people and love to make people laugh. You have tons of energy and hate to sleep. You like to “make-believe” and play Barbie’s. You love to color and make “kwafts”. You are a great helper in the kitchen and you are so good with your little Brother. I know he gets on your nerves a lot but you are so patient and kind to him (most of the time). I think it is so funny when you use big words because you are very dramatic and it really suits you. You love to sing and dance and I see a lot of passion in you in both areas. I am excited to see you put these gifts to use in the future (still praying that a good voice also comes with that passion). You are quick to forgive and quick to ask for forgiveness. You are thoughtful. You are inquisitive and eager. You are a great manipulator. You are beautiful and we love every bit of you. Even your crazy outfits and your obsession with shoes. Love you little girl, keep smiling!

-Mom & Dad





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A Mommy Predicament

Though it is sometimes challenging for me, I allow Lucy to pick out her own clothes. She used to let me help pick out her clothes on Sundays and on special occasions but less and less she lets me contribute.

I usually don’t mind because I know it is a good thing. This is one way she can fully express herself and embrace her independence and personality.  She is so girly. I don’t know where she gets it. She has a corky sense of style and a love of color. She accessorizes from head to toe. She would wear lipstick everyday if I would let her. She calls herself “The Fashion Girl” because she loves clothes (her words, not mine).

lucy clothes

Quick story. Recently a friend of mine gave us a bag of clothes. Lucy kept asking me to look through them so I let her open the bag. She pulled out the clothing and thoroughly inspected each piece. When she got to a particular dress she really liked she gasped: “Mommy! Look at this dress! <gasps> I love it! <hugs dress> Mom, I have happy tears!”.



SO back to this dilemma. I am unsure if I should start teaching Lucy how to put outfits together. How to match colors and what to wear with what. I don’t mean tell her that what she is wearing looks bad, but just explain basic fashion principles. I think it would be sad to see the crazy outfits go, but on the other hand, sometimes I just can’t let her wear the things she wants to wear out of the house. Most of the time I do even though the desire to make her change is very strong.


At this point I am prepared to continue to let her do her thing, because that is what she does best. She actually really does do a good job a lot of the time !And, she knows that sometimes she has to wear what Mommy asks her to wear (even if it does lead to tears). I do think it is cute. And she does accept my advice sometimes when it comes to appropriate attire according to the weather.


I guess the predicament is really just me wanting to see her choose something normal to wear on her own, or at least let me pick them out for her sometimes.

I love my girl.


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Getting to the Heart of Parenting- REVISED

This week while Lucy has been in Vacation Bible School, I have been attending a parenting seminar. How did that happen? It’s a funny story.

As I drive up to the Church where Lucy will be attending VBS this week, I see a sign that reads “Parenting Seminar Today- 10-11”. I thought “How nice” and continued down the driveway. As I pulled in I saw a familiar face and this person says to me “Hey! You here for the free babysitting too?!” I giggled. I guess in a sense I was. Three hours without Lucy. Do you have any idea how clean my house will be this week?!

I have never been to this church before so I was just taking it all in. Trying to figure out where I was going and where to drop off my little girl who isn’t so little anymore.

“Would you like Mommy to stay here with you to make sure you are okay?”

“No, I will just sit next to Mia.”

“Well, Okay, I will just sit in the back in case you need me.”

She didn’t need me. Humph.

As I walked towards the back of the Church,  two elder ladies approached me:

“Will you be leaving your little one today?”

“Well, no. I’m just waiting to see how my daughter does and if she is alright then I will just come back later.”

“Are you sure? We have a Cribbery!”

“Oh, yes, but thank you so much for offering.”

They started to dismiss the children and Lucy never even looked back. I guess she will be fine. I guess I will just go home. This will be good for me… I mean her.

On my way out the door a man stopped me and asked: “Hey! Would you be interested in staying for the Parenting Seminar we are having today?”

I stopped. I thought about it.

Left Shoulder: What did you just say? You can?! What? We have plans. We are going to go clean our house. We are going to put the baby to bed and have two extra glorious hours to ourself! What do you mean, yes, you will stay?!

Right Shoulder: Well, you really don’t have anything better to do. So what, you are going to clean your house? Really? You do that everyday. What do you need free time for? Isn’t a free parenting seminar a great opportunity for you to grow as a parent and better serve your children? Free childcare. God. This will be good for you.  

 And I responded. “Uh, Well, I guess I can.”

So, I walk downstairs and hand off my little man to the little old ladies in the Cribbery.

When I came back upstairs I overheard the gentleman who had asked me to stay say to another woman: “Well, we have one young lady who is willing to stay.”

What?! Oh Lord. Ha-Ha.

“Oh, Well, if it is just me, please do not feel obligated. I can go. It is not a big deal!”

“Nonsense! Stay! Maybe some other people will trickle in!”

Left Shoulder: Yes! A Way Out!

Right Shoulder: Well, cool, one on one parent counseling! Lord knows I need it! This kind of thing is importand, Janet.

And that is how it happened.

(Did I mention the Seminar is everyday? Oh, no? lol ) 

When I was pregnant with Lucy I took a parenting class. It was and has been so helpful in training up my children. This seminar happens to be led by the same person who did the last one I took and boy, has it been amazing. So timely. Thank you Lord for ordaining this opportunity! I didn’t realize how much I had forgotten and how many holes there are in my parenting style.

You do not have to be a genius to realize that the children in todays culture are well, a bit out of control. I know mine sure aren’t perfect. Who’s to blame? You mean I am not a perfect parent? Rats.

Do you not agree with me that it is SO important to be the best parent we can be for our children?!

I urge all of you to consider taking a step towards bettering yourself as a parent. There are lots of good recourses out there but I HIGHLY recommend this Seminar if you don’t have any other ideas. It does not matter how old your children are, there is wisdom here for every single season of life. You also do not have to be a Christian to appreciate the very practical steps and advice to get your parenting back in order.

Yikes. I have work to do.

Here is a link if you would like to purchase the CD or DVD. You can always listen to it in your car, Lord knows we drive enough!

Below is an interview with Paul Tripp, the Pastor who teaches the Seminar. I think it is a good overview if you are interested.

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Stay Out Of My Bed.

We have been having issues lately with Lucy getting out of her bed in the middle of the night and climbing into our bed.
Every time she gets into our bed, of course it is my side, and I have to wake up Ryan to carry her back upstairs (I have to, obviously I can’t do it myself). An hour later, she could be right back down. She is starting to get smarter and has been climbing up the middle to where Ryan and I wake up and have no idea how she got there.

We have tried different things to keep her out. Some have worked, some have not. It has been a couple of weeks since she has been in our bed but she has decided to come back this week.

Last night when putting Lucy to bed I made a deal with her;

“Lucy, if you stay in your bed all night I will give you a lollipop tomorrow.”

“Can I have a pink one?”


So, 3AM rolls around and there is a little person knocking at my blanket. I look up and see the cutest little girl holding tight to a little furry blankie…

“Mom, I don’t want to have a lollipop tomorrow, too much sugar is bad for me.”



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Lucy’s Ink

ink2 ink3 ink

Before I start this post, I would just like to express how evident the grace of God was yesterday in my life. When it is nap time or “quiet time”, I really cherish the “free time” that I have those two hours. If anything, I mean anything, gets in the way of the only downtime I have in a 24 hours span of time, I get really pissed off. I know, it is a problem. However, yesterday, when something this “traumatic” happened, my natural self would have flipped out (meaning lots of yelling and stomping around) but instead, I was surprisingly calm. i could feel the frustration welling up inside of me, but it never actually exploded out. I call this a win.  I’m never really happy when I freak out. I know that my number one job is caring for my children, not whatever *important* thing I am doing during nap time. BUT, man, oh man, sometimes a girl just needs a break! Thank you Lord for helping me through this one!


As I am sitting in the basement folding laundry and watching the latest episode of Revenge (what?! how did she…), I head some bumping around upstairs. This should have been a red flag but, I, believing that my child is an angel and can do nothing wrong when I threaten her not to get out of bed, assumed she was just throwing the books she reads in bed onto the floor.

Moments later, the dog that was sitting next to me jumped up and ran over towards the steps. I glance and notice Lucy standing there. I give a disapproving look. You know, the “Why are you out of bed” look. I look again.

What the… “LUCY! What did you do?!”

I get up and make my way towards my daughter, who, now looks like a smurf. “Lucy, what did you do?!”

“I tried to wash it off Mom!”

I leaned down to smell her. Right away I could smell that is was permanent. I picked her up and started up the steps.

“Where did you get this?! What were you doing?! Lucy! Where are you allowed to use markers?!”

“… on paper…”

“Are you paper Lucy?”


“I’m sorry Lucy, but this is very bad. This is bad. You are in big trouble.”

“I’m sorry Mommy!”

“Sit on this bed and don’t move (finger pointing). I have to take your picture so I can show your Father. He is going to be very upset with you.”

I didn’t know how else to take her picture without glorifying the action.

So… there was more discussion on the topic. I took her upstairs and told her that she had to go to bed now. She cried because she wasn’t tired. I told her she should be crying because her face will be purple forever. I knew that it was going to be difficult to get the marker off of her so in my mind, she could just go to sleep and  I would deal with it later. Then I realized that she also colored all over the bottom of her feet so the marker was getting all over her bed rails.

“UGGGHHHHHGGGRRRRR! Ugh. Get naked right now! We have to take a bath!”

“Okay Momm!”

How can one be so sweet and happy. Stop being happy. You’re in trouble. Be sad.

I make the bath super warms and put a ton of soapy in the water. She jumps right in.

“Lucy. Stop playing. You’re in trouble.”

Okay Mommy.”

What is wrong with you? I’m so frustrated. Can’t you see that. I’m mad at you. Why aren’t upset that I am mad?

So I scrub, and scrub, and scrub. Oh, you colored your teeth too. Awesome! Here, brush your teeth.

“Mom, it’s not coming off!”

“Uh, I know! That is what I have been trying to tell you. This will never come off. You are going to be purple forever. That is why we do not color on anything besides paper.”

“Okay Mommy, I won’t do it again.”

“Good, now get out.”

“But Mom, I don’t want to get out of the bath yet, I’m not done playing!”

“Uh! It’s not play time! It is NAP TIME! You are supposed to be napping, not playing. Get out and get in bed!” I look at the clock. “Nevermind. You can’t take a nap now because you’ll sleep too long. Just play with your toys and do NOT leave your room until I come get you.”

“Okay Mom. Don’t forget your hug!”

“What? You want a hug?” Seriously. The last thing I want to do is give you a hug. Why do you want a hug. I don’t want a hug.  “Why do you want a hug?”

“Because I love you Mom.”

Who is this child? Talk about a humbling experience.

“And a kiss Mom. I love you. Be happy.”

I mean really. Who can be mad at that?!

And then I go downstairs to finish the laundry and my show. And the baby wakes up. And the dog pees on the floor. And Lucy comes downstairs.

And, then, I found the masterpiece on my bedroom wall. And mirror. And the sink is stained purple, and the toiled is stained with purple foot prints. And there are little wads of wet purple toilet paper all around the sink.


*I still love her. It was kind of funny.

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