Category Archives: Lucy

I Hate Kindergarten

It’s true.

Ever since Lucy started Kindergarten, she simultaneously became a grumpy, mean old Monster.

Now, I know that 90% of the reason is probably because she is tired and when Lucy is tired is shows up as rebellious attitude. And, I know she has to follow instructions all day long in school so probably it is hard to follow more instructions at home. Trying to keep all of that in mind I should probably consider adjusting my expectations of her when she gets home from School but there are just some things that can’t be adjusted and just need to be understood and accepted whether you want to obey or not. Especially having a joyful attitude with the people you have to interact with. Obviously I can’t make her be “joyful” but it is really hard to deal with the rudeness and unkindness in her attitude and actions.

I also hate Kindergarten because it has been revealing some of the sins that are in Lucy’s heart that I didn’t know were there before. Actually, this is a good thing but a sad thing at the same time. Good because now I know what her struggles are and I can help her but sad because you don’t want to see the ugliness that is in your children. For example, Lucy really cares what other people think about her. So much so that it affects what I am allowed to pack her for lunch and obviously what she wears to school. I know that this is normal, especially for girls, but I never realized how much of her life she spends worrying about what other people think. If she wasn’t in this environment or situation I would have never noticed. Maybe I would have eventually?

Noticing this in Lucy has given me a lot of opportunities to talk to her and to ask deep questions. It has also allowed me to pray more specifically for her and research ways to help her in this sin (or “state of mind”). It is upsetting though, you want your child to be confident in who they are, to be proud of how God made them (different and unique) and own their choices. I want her to be a leader, not a follower. Do you know what life looks like for a teenager who is a follower? Well I certainly do and that is not a life I want for my child. The only person I want her to follow is Jesus.

If I had known then what I know now, gosh, I wish I did not care half as much as I did about other people. I wish I always embraced my weirdness unique abilities. It is so freeing not caring what other people think about you.

Anyway…

There have been some good things about Kindergarten. I know there are probably a lot of good things that I haven’t been able to see yet. But right now, I’m distracted by the negatives because that is what effects our lives on a daily basis right now.

I know 100% that Lucy is where she is supposed to be and I have complete peace with sending her to public school vs. Homeschooling or Private School. It has just been a hard adjustment for all of us and in different ways than I had expected.

And don’t worry, Lucy isn’t the only one who doesn’t have it together. Where God has given me supernatural grace and patience these past few weeks, there has also been a lot of attitude problems on my end too. I am grateful that God has a plan for my children and though I play an incredibly important role in their lives, their future does not solely rest on my ability of being a perfect Mother. Normally I would beat myself up and feel guilty thinking “I am ruining them! I am a terrible Mother!” but Gods plan for them is already written and despite my failures, He does not fail. As long as I continue to trust the Lord and “Train up {my} child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6), they will be alright! I am not perfect and can not be perfect. I want to be the perfect Mother but reality is that I am not. None of us are.

Grateful that we have a perfect Father in Heaven that we can call upon when we are in need. And are at wit’s end. And don’t know how your children will ever turn out right since you too are grumpy. And when none of the other girls wear blue shorts so she can’t possibly wear blue shorts.  And Like when your 5yo tells you that “you are THE WORST Mother in the WHOLE WORLD and I  wish I had a different nicer Mommy!”. #5goingon15

Ugh.

I blame it all on Kindergarten.

Don’t worry. I still love that grumpy mean old Monster and I am glad God gave her this WORST Mommy in the WHOLE WORLD to be her Mom.

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Kindergarten, Day 1

Lucy first dayToday marks the first day of the next 12 years.

I wouldn’t say it started off on a high note. Of course, on the only day she is not allowed to sleep in, she sleeps in and I have to wake her up for school.

Me: Lucy, good morning!

Lucy: I don’t want to wake up.

Me: Do you know what day it is?

Lucy: School Day.

Me: It’s Kindergarten Day!

Lucy: Kindergarten, here I DON’T come!

Despite the lack of excitement, as soon as she saw some of her school friends waiting to go into the building, she perked up and nearly walked through the door without saying “goodbye”. Luckily last minute she ran over and gave me a hug and a kiss.

And then I cried. Big ugly tears. I look to my right, most of the other Mom’s are crying too. I am glad it is normal.

After pick-up, the consensus is that Lucy likes school. Well thank goodness! <wink>

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On a side note, I would just like to share another conversation I had today with my lovely 5yo.

Lucy: (while hand resting on my stomach) Mom, are you pregnant?

Me: No Lucy, I’m not pregnant.

Lucy: (rubbing my belly) I think you could be pregnant and just not know it yet.

Me: I’m not pregnant.

Well goodness. I know I have been off track for the past three weeks but goodness. I guess I can use that for a little motivation…

Kids.

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The Big Year

On Monday, my first-born will be starting full day Kindergarten. Though she has been to Pre-school for the past two years, I am not sure how I am going to handle this since she has mainly been at home with me for the past five and a half years.

<insert ugly cry>

I am happy and sad at the same time. I am SUPER excited that she has the wonderful opportunity to go to school and experience so many new and fun things. I am sad that for the next 12ish years, I am not going to be her main influence anymore. I am not going to know everything that she is doing and I wont be able to take her on spontaneous weekday trips while the rest of the world is in school. I know that she will love it and I am certain this is the right thing for her, but it is just hard. Bittersweet.

Before this new adventure begins I wanted to document all of the amazing things that has happened to Lucy this past year (and what she is like). You don’t have to keep reading, I like to document these things for my own personal reference.

AGE 5

At age five, Lucy lost her first tooth! She learned how to blow her first bubble with Bubble Gum and snap her fingers. Lucy learned how to do a cartwheel and was in her first Fashion Show. For the first time Lucy expressed a desire to marry a certain little boy and went under water while holding her nose (this is a biggie since Lucy is afraid of the water and has no desire to swim).

Lucy has an attitude like a teenager and loves to bargain in order to get her way. She is so girly. So, so girly. Heels, make-up, lotion, clothes… I don’t know where she gets it. I think she has a future as a hairstylist because she can sit and do her dolls hair for hours. She loves to dance and loves practicing her gymnastics. Her number one desire right now is to own an American Girl Doll.

Sometimes Lucy loves her brother and sometimes, often, she doesn’t want him bothering her. It is sad as a parent to watch and listen to but the other moments are so sweet it kind of makes up for it. She is a good big sister and does take care of him, she would just rather he wouldn’t touch her stuff.

DADDY’S GIRL!

Lucy is counting down the days until she can be a Babysitter. She loves babies.

When I look at Lucy, she just doesn’t look like a little girl anymore (she does and she doesn’t). She is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. I love every ounce of her (even when she is really getting on my nerves).

“Good luck” in Kindergarten Kiddo… I know it is going to be awesome!!

lucy

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Second Generation Problem

This morning when my daughter climbed into bed with me she seemed troubled. Before I could say something and ask what was bothering her she said:

“Mom, a girl stuck her tongue out at me two times last night at the party.”

“She did? Why did she do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you say something to her or accidentally bump into her?”

“No, I was just staring at her.”

“Ooooh. Yeah. That explains it. People don’t like it when you do that.”

 

I have written a post before about mybad” habit. Looks like some things are genetic.

Oops!

 

 

 

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Do we always like our kids?

photoI was talking with a friend of mine who is having a hard time parenting her 18 month old son. She says to me: “I feel like such a bad Mom; I do not always like my Son. He is very difficult to deal with and is always yelling and screaming. When I get on Facebook, everyone loves being a Mother and loves having children- I just do not feel that way”.

Well, she is not alone, is she ladies? I know that I am not out of line in saying that this is a VERY common feeling! I have been there these past few weeks myself. Parenting is HARD! Being a Mom is hard. No doubt about it. Sure, there are seasons of parenting that are easier than others, but as a whole, this is the hardest job in town.

I know it is super easy to get caught up in the “I am a terrible Mom” mindset. Especially when we are comparing ourselves to the “Highlight Reel” of “Super Mom’s” on Facebook and Instagram. Be assured, there is no such thing. Often times, the pictures I post on social media are the only joyful moments of the day! The rest of the time when I am not posting pictures, I am cleaning  dried up food off of the walls and disciplining a little boy who can’t seem to grasp the idea that hitting his Sister with a bat is a bad thing.

To the Mom who is chasing after aggressive and energetic boys, or arguing with a strong-willed daughter, or a Mom who has a new baby who won’t stop crying and never sleeps… You are normal. This is normal. We are in this together. We WILL get through it! We will. It gets better.

Take a deep breath. It will all be okay. It will. We will.

I love my kids. Do I always like my kids? Sometimes, no. But I do want to be the best Mother I can be and love these little gremlins even when I feel they are not worthy of being loved for the moment.

Are you with me?

We are Mom’s! We have the greatest most important job in the world. It is not always easy. We are never going to be perfect. BUT, it is SO worth it.

We can’t do it alone so go call someone. Pray. Go on a date. Drop that kid off at Grandma’s!  Take a nap. Put on a darn movie (Do it I won’t think any less of you).

 

And that, is my trying to encourage the weary Mom. Do you feel encouraged? <wink>

=)

 

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

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My Big Little 4 Year Old

Iphone Pics 2014 875

“Her smile beams like sunshine, which fills our hearts with love.” – Unknown

 

Future memoir of a 4-year-old, as told by Lucy… 

What is your Favorite color? “All of the colors”

What is your favorite food? “Spaghetti”

What food do you not like? “Purple Lettuce”

What is your favorite movie? “Herkaleez (Hercules)”

Who is your best friend? “Evie, Vincent, Eli, Hannah, Brooklyn, Mosley, Abram, Cousins…

What is your favorite book? “I Am Sam”

What do you like to learn in school? “Nothing, we just don’t learn nothing in school.”   [clearly]

Is there something that you are afraid of? “Monsters”

What do you want to be when you grow up? “A real Teacher and Fashion Girl”

What is your favorite thing about Daddy? “He gives me a hug and kiss.”

What is your favorite thing about Mommy? “You say “good morning” to me when you wake up.”

What is your favorite thing about Abram? “That he goes to bed and we can watch movies when he goes to bed.”

What is one thing you hope to do as a 4-year-old?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucy, your Daddy and I love you very much. Words can not express the joy you bring to our lives. Over the past four years I have not only seen you grow physically, but have witnessed your personality grow and mature as well. Though you are still little in size, you have a very big heart. You love people and love to make people laugh. You have tons of energy and hate to sleep. You like to “make-believe” and play Barbie’s. You love to color and make “kwafts”. You are a great helper in the kitchen and you are so good with your little Brother. I know he gets on your nerves a lot but you are so patient and kind to him (most of the time). I think it is so funny when you use big words because you are very dramatic and it really suits you. You love to sing and dance and I see a lot of passion in you in both areas. I am excited to see you put these gifts to use in the future (still praying that a good voice also comes with that passion). You are quick to forgive and quick to ask for forgiveness. You are thoughtful. You are inquisitive and eager. You are a great manipulator. You are beautiful and we love every bit of you. Even your crazy outfits and your obsession with shoes. Love you little girl, keep smiling!

-Mom & Dad

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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A Mommy Predicament

Though it is sometimes challenging for me, I allow Lucy to pick out her own clothes. She used to let me help pick out her clothes on Sundays and on special occasions but less and less she lets me contribute.

I usually don’t mind because I know it is a good thing. This is one way she can fully express herself and embrace her independence and personality.  She is so girly. I don’t know where she gets it. She has a corky sense of style and a love of color. She accessorizes from head to toe. She would wear lipstick everyday if I would let her. She calls herself “The Fashion Girl” because she loves clothes (her words, not mine).

lucy clothes

Quick story. Recently a friend of mine gave us a bag of clothes. Lucy kept asking me to look through them so I let her open the bag. She pulled out the clothing and thoroughly inspected each piece. When she got to a particular dress she really liked she gasped: “Mommy! Look at this dress! <gasps> I love it! <hugs dress> Mom, I have happy tears!”.

What?!

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SO back to this dilemma. I am unsure if I should start teaching Lucy how to put outfits together. How to match colors and what to wear with what. I don’t mean tell her that what she is wearing looks bad, but just explain basic fashion principles. I think it would be sad to see the crazy outfits go, but on the other hand, sometimes I just can’t let her wear the things she wants to wear out of the house. Most of the time I do even though the desire to make her change is very strong.

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At this point I am prepared to continue to let her do her thing, because that is what she does best. She actually really does do a good job a lot of the time !And, she knows that sometimes she has to wear what Mommy asks her to wear (even if it does lead to tears). I do think it is cute. And she does accept my advice sometimes when it comes to appropriate attire according to the weather.

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I guess the predicament is really just me wanting to see her choose something normal to wear on her own, or at least let me pick them out for her sometimes.

I love my girl.

photo

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