Tag Archives: Baby

The Wait- Our Story

First, let me thank everyone for their love and support regarding our pregnancy announcement. We are so blessed to have so many caring friends and family!

Secondly, I am sensitive to the fact that this news may have caused some a little heart ache. I too can relate because I also have struggled with infertility for the past three years. In hind sight, three years is not that long and we do have other children, but regardless, the desire to have children and the frustration that is associated with the inability to get pregnant, whether first or fifth, is similar. I felt the same disappointment month after month and the same little pain in my heart when another friend shared that they were expecting. Of course I was happy for them, but a little part of you feels sorry for yourself too. So, I just want all of you who are struggling with infertility to know that I am sorry that our exciting news caused you a little pain and I hope and pray that you too, when the time is right, will have the opportunity to share your own exciting news (whether it be through the gift of adoption, foster care or getting pregnant naturally)!

Random unorganized thoughts below…

Because we already have two wonderful children we were not going to seek a Fertility Specialist in order to get pregnant again (though I have been seeing a Holistic Nutritionist that I believe was a contributing factor to our ability to conceive). Ryan and I  decided that we were most likely going to pursue adoption seriously after our exchange student left us this Summer.

Prior to my pregnancy, I was having a pre-midlife crisis. Abram will be starting Kindergarten in the Fall and therefore I will have both children in school fulltime. I have always imagined my life being only a Stay-at-Home Mom to a handful of children. Though I knew I still wanted to mostly be at home when my children were in school, I would most likely have to go back to work part time or go back to school which was not easy to come to terms with. I knew I would eventually be doing this, but not yet! I am not ready for this season of my life to be over!

Who am I?

Eventually, the idea of going back to school and growing in my very part-time career seemed exciting to me. The future for us changed in my mind and it didn’t look so bad. We started to plan a family trip to Europe and figure out ways to pay off debt quicker so we can moooove. Life might be okay for us. Of course it will. If it’s Gods plan for us to only have two children, his plan is what is best for us. That doesn’t mean I liked His plan right away or still didn’t hope that my dream of more children might come true one day, but he has a different plan for us and I can be excited about that.

Skip forward a few months…

I am unusually “late” so I decided to take a test. “MOM! There are two lines!!” What the… is this real? I have been used to seeing one line for so long that I thought I was seeing things when two popped up. (PSA- Dollar Store PTs work just fine.)

“I do not know how to feel about this! I think I am happy. I’m happy. Oh no, what about Europe?! This is weird. WHAT, is Ryan going to think?! Exciting. But Europe. There is a baby in there!”

Ryan was supportive when I told him.

Skip forward a few weeks.

Sick. Sick. Sick. Ughhhhhhhhhhh……

It is hard to feel excited about something when that something makes you feel like death. I am almost 16 weeks and I am just starting to come out of the sick. I most likely will still have bouts of all day nausea until my third trimester. My belly keeps growing but I can’t understand why, it hasn’t fully sunk in that I am actually pregnant. I hate food. I hate smells. I LOVE sleep. I hate food. If any one of you make brussel spouts, do not stand within a mile of me.

Lucy cried. She is not excited. Abram is SO happy and tells me all the time how much he loves my baby and is so excited. His excitement has helped me get through the sickness, his joy is infectious.

I am overwhelmed and excited. Nervous and happy. Anxious and in disbelief. We are going to be parents of three. What the crap was God thinking when he opened my womb?! =0P

new bro

 

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The Birth Story- Part III

Read Part I here.
Read Part II here.

________________________________________________________________

I make my way into the Emergency Room and find myself at the Check-In desk. I prop my hands on the counter and explain to the lady that I was really sorry and I will get to her in a second, I am in labor and I am about to have a contraction so “I can’t talk right now”.

Breath. Sway. Breath. Breath. Sway.

She starts asking me questions. I don’t know what you are saying. I can’t answer that. Um, yes, my husband has my paper work, he is parking the car.

“Ryan! Where is my suitcase?! It has all of my stuff in it! I need my fan! I am going to need my fan!”

“I’ll go back and get it for you.”

“No, don’t leave me.”

The lady at the desk is trying to be helpful, she was right on the ball and very understanding. She asked if I would like a wheel chair. No lady. I can’t sit down. I definitely can’t walk three miles to L&D either. Ryan, can’t you carry me? No, I don’t think that will work either. I wanted to start crying. I had to get upstairs but I couldn’t move.

“Okay Ryan, after this contraction I will jump into the chair. You run as fast as you can to the elevator and if I start having another contraction you will just have to pull over and let me up.”

The plan worked perfectly. We made it to the elevator in perfect time. As soon as we got there I had to stand up. The elevator opened and we told the nice old man who looked a little frightened that we will just catch the next one.

I barely made it out of the elevator when I had to stand up again. Breath. Breath. Breath. Oh My Gosh. Oh my gosh. Breath. Breath.

The nurse motions us into the exam room.

“I’m sorry, I can’t move. I will be there in a second.”

She starts asking me a lot of questions. All I can remember is telling her that I waited too long because I didn’t think I could actually be in labor. I changed my mind about delivering naturally and I would like an epidural because I wanted to “enjoy” the birth and I knew I couldn’t if I was in this much pain. And that I would really like to wear a bra under the hospital robe, if that was okay. I had to go to the bathroom and I thought he was going to pop out into the toilet while I was going. He didn’t thank goodness.

When I came out of the bathroom my Midwife was there to check me. “Wow. You are at 9 cm. It is almost time to push!”.

“Oh God. Oh no! Oh no! What?!” My eyes started to well up with tears.

“If you would still like to get an epidural, we can call and still try to get you one!”

[Well, that is awful nice of you to try and make me feel better about the situation I am in but we both know that they normally do not give epidural after 7 cm. I do appreciate you trying to get my mind off the fact that I am about to push this baby out without any drugs but you can’t fool me.]

They immediately get me in a chair and start wheeling me into the delivery room.

“Wait! Can I please get a drink of water?”

“Sure!”

She pulls over and takes her good ol’ time getting me that water. Ugh! This was a mistake. Doesn’t everyone know that I am having a baby at any minute and if you could please hurry just a little bit faster…

We finally make it into the delivery room. There are lots of people getting things ready and I was asked to get into the bed. [I can not get into this bed. How in the world am I going to sit down. They seriously expect me to just sit up there?!]

I get into the bed somehow and while the nurses are getting things ready athey start asking me questions in which I can not answer. One nurse came in and was asking me to fill out some paper work. What? Are you serious right now? No, I can not fill out this paperwork! “Can my husband fill it out and I can just sign it?” Seriously people. Not the time.

My eyes are closed and I am just trying to breathe. They tell me the epidural is on its way.  Yeah right. But really, thanks for giving me hope.

My contractions were not stopping and I am breathing and half crying and rocking back and forth and grunting and my midwife looks up at me and says: “Janet, if you would like, we can break your water and you can start pushing”. As those words left her mouth my water broke. And this is how I responded: “IT JUST DID! AHHHHHHHH!”.

And with that they threw my bed back, hoisted my legs up and screams were leaving my mouth that I have never heard come from a human.

“OIUOIUVKNKJBIUHDO”            <– This represents the noises I was making while pushing. The non-human noises.

“Push Janet. Push.”

“I don’t want to! I don’t want to! Oobjkfguiohoerkjh.”

“You need to hold your breath Janet. The better you push the quicker he will come out.”

These contractions were THE MOST intense thing I have ever experienced. But, the time between the contractions were very peaceful, almost a relief. It was weird. I could get about three good pushes during a contraction and then there was about a 30 second pause where I just laid back with my eyes closed and complained.

“Oh no. Oh no. Here comes another one. I don’t want to push. I don’t want to push. OHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT!!”

<breathing. breathing.>

“I’m sorry for swearing. It is just the only think that makes me feel better. I don’t normally swear…. AhHHHHH!”

<breathing. breathing.>

“I smell Carla. Is Carla here? Wait, I smell my Mom, did she just walk in too?”

“He is almost out Janet, just a few more pushes.”

[Okay ladies, yeah right. I am sure that you tell every woman that the baby is “almost” out. Again, I appreciate your optimism but I know that these things take longer than you are indicating.]

“Push!” Out came the head.

“Push!” Out came the shoulders.

“AHHHH! Why is he stuck there?!!! Can’t you just pull him out?!!”

One more push, and Abram was born.

Midwife: “Uh. This is not a 7lb baby! Someone weigh him!’

Nurse: “9.2!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

[Holy crap. Holy Crap.]

“Would you like to hold your son Mrs. Price?”

“No thanks, I am sure he is cute, I’ll hold him later. I just need to lay here. That was extremely traumatic.”

<giggles in the room>

We arrived at the hospital at 5:45. Abram was born at 6:20. His face was purple and bruised because he came out too fast. Turns out I didn’t have time to need my fan.

Life After Abram 174

Abram’s “Birth Story” was a huge answer to prayer. Every specific thing that I prayed for came true.  I did it. We did it. Thank you Lord!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Birth Story Part II

* Read Part I Here.

I like to subtitle Part II: “Just In Case”.

So we returned from trying on tux’s around 8:00 PM. I was starting to feel a little nervous because my contractions were still regular. I was pacing around the kitchen trying to figure out what to do. I decided to make sure everything was clean, I double checked my luggage and made myself eat a grilled cheese. I didn’t feel too hungry but the last time I had a baby I couldn’t eat for like four days and I was starving to death so I wanted to eat something just in case.

I texted my friend who worked at the Hospital and told her that I might be seeing her and to save me a big room. I called my back-up care for Lucy and let her know that it “could” be the night. I didn’t call my Mom because she would worry and call me several times to ask how I was feeling and I didn’t want to deal with that in case they stopped.

I went to bed at 9pm. I wanted to get some sleep to prepare for a long night if what I thought might happen was going to happen. I wanted to go to bed because if the contractions were going to stop I wanted them to stop, like they had been every night before. I laid in my bed and prayed that they wouldn’t stop but if they did I wouldn’t be upset. I eventually drifted off to sleep but I kept waking up to the contractions. I tried to time them but I fell asleep every time they calmed. So, I would wake up, press start on my contraction tracker app and then fall asleep only to wake up again to the timer still running. Around 11-11:30, when I realized I had been sleeping and the contractions weren’t stopping, I decided to get up and take a shower. I timed the contractions while I was in the shower and they were consistently every three minutes. [Wash my hair, not wash my hair? Well, It looks good now, I should probably wash it but I don’t want to stay awake to straighten it and i don’t want to have curly hair in the pictures, so… I won’t wash it.] I was still in denial and just thought that they were going to stop so I honestly didn’t think anything of it. I did however have the good sense to make a list for Lucy just in case I didnt have time before I had to go to the hospital… if that was going to be the case.

I went back to bed and fell asleep for another few hours. I thank God for that last bit of sleep because it was awesome and I didn’t wake up once. well, until 3:30. Around 3:30am I woke up, there was no going back to sleep. The contractions were right on top of each other and I didn’t know what to do. [Crap. I think this is this. Oh no. What do I do? Should I wake up Ryan? I feel bad waking him up if it isn’t real. Should I call my Back-up? It’s too late, I don’t want to wake them up. Maybe I should call. Is this really happening?]

“Psst. Ryan. Ryan?”

“Huh?”

“Um, I’ve been having contractions. They aren’t stopping. I think maybe you should get into the shower.”

“Really? Uh, Can I work out first?”

“Um, well, I guess you can. Well, No, I think you should probably just get into the shower.”

“Okay.”

“Should I call Back-up? I don’t want to wake anyone up, but, I think we might have to go to the Hospital now.”

“Ok, yeah, I guess just call them.”

So I called my Aunt who was back-up #1. I called and she answered right away. Aunt Lisa? “Yes, Sunny?” Are you sleeping? “Yes, but that’s ok!” Oh, sorry for waking you up but… I think I need you to come over now. “Really? ok. We are out the door.” Are you sure? I feel bad. I just think we should go to the Hospital. “We will be there in a minute.” Thank you! Then I called my Mom:  “Mom, I think we are going to the Hospital. I will call you when we get there and let you know when to come”.

Mean while Ryan is in the shower and then he gets out. He gets dressed and I am zipping up our bags.  The contractions are now right on top of each other and there is no doubt that we have to go. I am starting to get panicked.

[So, screw that whole giving birth naturally thing. I want to be able to enjoy his birth (like it’s enjoyable?) and I don’t think I can like this. Yeah, I think I’m okay with that.]

Ryan starts emptying the dishwasher. “Ryan, are you really emptying the dishwasher? Stop that. We have to go. Oh no, we have to go now. I think we waited too long. I need your help. Oh shit. Oh shit we have to go. ” He comes into the bedroom to help me and I can barely walk. I start to cry. Well, kind of cry, it was more of a whiney worried crying noise. “They need to be here now. Like, ten seconds ago. Call your Mom, where is your Mom? We have to leave!” Ryan’s mom had been coming over every morning for the past 6 months to work out. She didn’t show up this morning. Mother-in-law fail.

Ryan tries to convince me it’s okay to leave since someone was on their way but I couldn’t justify leaving Lucy alone. “No, I can’t leave! I need to leave but I can’t leave.” We started walking towards the door to wait and I stop: “Oh crap. Oh no. Oh man. I am going to throw up or pass out. Let’s go. We have to go. We have to leave. Now. We waited too long. We waited too long.” I changed my mind. She could be alone.

As I wobble down the steps my back-up arrives. “Oh thank God.” I tried to talk to them and explain things but I couldn’t talk and all I could get out was: note. on table. gotto go. thanks.

I got to the car. I just looked at it. [I can’t sit down. I seriously can’t sit down. How in the world am I going to get in that car.] Somehow I managed to jump in. I laid straight back and threatened Ryan not to hit any bumps and to drive as fast as he could and I didn’t care if he had to get pulled over. At this point it is about 5:10am so thankfully the roads weren’t really congested. My eyes were closed the entire drive and all I could do was breathe and pray. And tell Ryan that we waited too long.  And that he needed to tell our parents to come ASAP because I had a feeling this baby was on its way. And breathe.

I am pretty sure Ryan was in denial himself because I don’t think he believed how sincere I was being with all of my commands. He actually asked me if he could park in the parking garage when we got to he hospital. Are you serious Ryan? No! I am about to have this baby in the car. Just drop me off and meet me in there. I have got to go!

So, he drops me off and somehow I make it inside the Emergency Room doors.

To be Continued…

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The Birth Story- Part I of 3

Monday, August 20, I had a followup appointment with my midwife. I am 1 week and three days late. At this appointment I was to be “checked” for effacement and dilation and to officially schedule my induction time for that Friday. At this point, I am assuming that I will have to be induced so I went to my appointment ready to ask to be induced that day. I rather just get it over with then have to wait another four days for the same thing to happen. [I guess my body just doesn’t like naturally giving birth to babies.] She said no. I was a little disappointed but I also knew that if that is what God wanted to happen she would have said yes. So, a little disappointed but I understood.

My mid-wife asked if I had the baby measured when I went in for fetal monitoring the week before. “Uh, no?”. “Well, I will make you an appointment right now.” Since I was considered a higher risk patient due to my previous C-section, it was important for them to know what to expect when trying for my VBAC.  If the baby was going to be too big, they would want to prepare and… you know… I don’t actually know every reason why they like to know, but they did mention that if they thought the baby was going to be “above average” they may just schedule a C-Section rather than put my body through the risk. [oh, great.]

Before I left I asked her to scrape my membranes again just to make sure and she sent me on my way complete with an appointment set for my induction that Friday. <Tear>

I called Ryan and then I called my Mother-in-law. You see, my mother-in-law, a strange woman she is. She could be on her death-bed or be suffering with a strange foot ailment for months (cough,cough) and not think that calling a doctor was important. With that being said, she DID NOT want me to drive or go anywhere by myself anytime I had to go somewhere after my due date. Legitimate reason I guess and I am grateful for her concern. I refused she attend my morning appointment but she insisted on attending my other appointment with me. It did turn out being very helpful because I had Lucy with me and I knew I was going to have to be hooked up for at least an hour and no way I could keep Lucy in the room with me. So, Thanks for that Carla!

Such mixed emotions. I am tired. Anxious. Drained. Excited. Sad. I was afraid to find out how big this baby was going to be. Lucy was predicted 8#10 oz and my doctor wanted to take her right away because “if she gets any bigger, I’m afraid you wont be able to have her naturally. Let’s avoid the risk of a C-section and go ahead and take her early.” End result- C-section (as you can see, I was having serious anxiety over this reoccurring scenario).

So, we get to the hospital for another Fetal Monitoring and a Baby Assessment. The Fetal Monitoring tracks your contractions and I was STILL having them and they were STILL pretty regular [I don’t care anymore, I’m just going to keep having them until they rip him out on Friday.]. I was called into the room for the measurement (man that warm belly gel is amazing! ) and as the Tech was moving the Ultrasound Stick (?) around my belly, Holy Crap! It felt like she was digging that thing into my skin. Come-on lady, that hurts! “Uh, could you hold on a sec. I’m having a contraction and that really hurts.” Yes, the contractions were hurting but what was hurting was her digging around on my belly while I was having one. I looked over at my MIL and said “That was a hard one! What time is it?” It was one o’clock. I liked to know what time the hard ones hit. I know it is important to time them but I just thought that I was never going to go into real labor so at this point, I always asked but I wasn’t keeping track. I am glad I asked now because for this reason I still remember what time it was.

The Tech lady leaves and comes back. “Well, It looks like this baby is going to be about 7lbs and 11oz.” Oh thank God! You have no idea the peace that came over me knowing that he was smaller. This took my anxiety of having a big baby naturally way, way down. I was so relieved. The conversation I had with my MIL in the car went like this (this is important to know for part three): Me: Honestly, I am a little surprised that he is going to be smaller because he feels bigger inside than Lucy did, but everyone keeps telling me I look smaller so I guess they are right. I am just so, so relieved. This makes me feel so much less nervous. I mean, he is a boy and I want him to be bigger but I don’t want to deliver a big baby so this is such an answer to prayer. Phew. So relieved. Carla: That’s good. I am glad you feel that way (her lack of response is important for later on in the story)!

Later in the afternoon, my contractions were more regular than normal and a tad stronger. I guess stronger and more regular that I noticed. I, like most Mothers to be, wants everything to be ready and perfect for when that time comes. Everything clean, organized and waiting. In case this was the beginning of “the real thing” I wanted to go to the grocery store.  My MIL didn’t like the idea so she insisted on coming with me. We went. She carried everything. I made sure all of the laundry was caught up which of course it was because I had been doing laundry excessively for the past three weeks. If it was made of fabric, it had been washed. I even washed and bleached my shower curtain and the liner (you can do that you know!).

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. I do remember that Ryan came home from work while I was putting the groceries away. “We have to go get measured for Josh’s Wedding tonight. Today is the last day.” Can I come too? I don’t want to sit around here by myself anxiously waiting and then being disappointed and frustrated if nothing happens. I need to keep my mind off of things. “Sure.”  (This is a useless conversation that you don’t need to know but while I was trying to remember I just thought I would throw it in for effect, you know, so you can get the real picture. Ha.)

I pulled out a gallon of ice cream. I ate 2/3 of it right out of the carton. I was hungry and I didn’t feel like making or eating anything. So, I ate ice cream. I loved ice cream. I ate it everyday of my pregnancy. It often made me sick but I ate it anyway because it was refreshing and easy to digest with such a large belly. Ryan says to me as I am bent over the counter with the carton and spoon in hand: ” What, are you trying to force him out by way of Ice Cream?” I laughed. I have no guilt.

 

To Be Continued…

 

 

 

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The Birth Story- Intro

It has taken me a long time to figure out how I would actually like to begin writing this.

I have decided a couple of things.

1. I am going to write in two parts.

2. I am going to do an intro to explain how I will be writing those two parts.

This here post is the intro, note the title.

If you have not been following my blog (or have been but may not remember all of the details), here are some helpful notes that will aid you in a better understanding of the next two posts in this “series”. Knowing this info will make it easier for me to write without having to over explain everything and give you a better understanding of where I was mentally and physically without having to re-read my other posts.

1. I was 11 days overdue.

2. I had been having Braxton Hicks Contractions since I was 24 weeks along  and started with real contractions the Monday after my due date. I was due on August 10 (a Saturday).

3. I was aiming for a VBAC delivery (Vaginal Birth After C-Section). I did not want to be induced which would  put me at a higher risk for another Cesarian. I had my membranes stripped twice and tried every safe suggestion and old wives tale imaginable that would help induce labor naturally.

4. From the Monday  the “real contractions” started, I had contractions every afternoon/evening and then they would go away at night when I went to bed. So, maybe they didn’t stop but I couldn’t feel them at night. I think they stopped, but I guess I couldn’t be too sure.

5. Part I will start the day I actually went into labor.

I think this is all you really need to know to be prepared. I hope to have Part I out next week as long as my children cooperate and take naps when they are supposed to.

Oh also, Anytime during the story you see something between brackets ( [ ] ), that will signify something that I was thinking. This will eliminate all of the ” and then I thought” or “I thought to myself” or “I was thinking”. Easier to write, easier to read. I like to write as if I am actually watching a TV show. Know what I mean?

 

Okay. Well, Talk to ya later! =)

 

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Abram- 4 Months

Abe

My baby boy is growing. Fast. He is giant. A chubby little happy giant.

At 4 Months Abram is 17.8lbs, 26inches long and wearing 6-9 Mo clothing. He is only about 10lbs less than Lucy.

Smiley. Oh boy does he smile. Content. This kid just hangs out. He only cries when he is hungry and  I am too busy to feed him (ha) and gets fussy (mildly) when he is ready for bed. I am so spoiled. If I knew all babies from here on out would be this easy I would have ten of them. Well, minus the whole birthing part…

Abram rolls from his belly to his back. He is grabbing his feet and starting to put his toes in his mouth. He likes to chat on occasion and loves his exer-saucer.

He is quite the opposite of Lucy. He is not needy for attention. I could leave him on a blanket or something and he just lays out and talks to himself. With Lucy, If I left her sight she would whine for me… she is getting better with that. Kind of. I understand though, I like people too! I didn’t have to do much sleep training with Abram at all, when he was/is put in his bed, he goes to sleep. He is on a good sleep/ wake schedule and I can pretty much time his naps to the second. Lucy wasn’t too bad either, but it did take about two weeks to get her trained. I think I cried harder than she did for most of it. Phew.

He was sleeping through the night. He started waking up recently around three again but still, he goes right down afterwards and gives me at least another four hours after that. Thank God for you kid. I feel bad answer questions about his sleeping when people ask me. He is not normal. Well, maybe for formula fed babies?

His cheeks are warm a squishy. I like them. I like his dimples.

The Doctor asked Lucy today if she had a boyfriend. She said: “No! Abram is my boyfriend!”. I love them. She loves him. He loves her.

On a side note, I have gained four pounds this Holiday. Ugh!!!! I am not surprised, I’ve been eating like an idiot. My name is Janet and I am addicted to Chocolate Chip cookies. I can’t resist them. I have also been addicted to someone’s Peanut Butter Fudge (You know who you are). In one day I calculated eating 700 calories worth of Christmas cookies. That my friend, is ridiculous. Where is the self-control? So, as of Wednesday I am on a strict Clean Eating Cleanse again and have worked out everyday so far (Ha-Ha. That is only two days). I HATE working out. I will not be surprised if it doesn’t last but, hopefully, Lord willing, it will. I am so out of shape. So sad.

Good bye. Off to do other things, like, yell at Lucy for coloring on my new bed spread.

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