Tag Archives: god

The Drums

I know some of you think we are crazy for getting a musical instrument for our preschooler. A very loud musical instrument. He would have had them last year if Mr. Price didn’t put his foot down. Thankfully he came around this year and agreed to let me get a drum kit for our boy.

Abram “plays the drums” on everything and talks about wanting to play the big drums when he gets older so naturally I wanted to help cultivate the musical side of my son, even if it meant a few disturbances here and there…

Today, Abram was up in his room practicing his drums to his favorite song. He had the song on repeat and played it over and over, each time I could here him picking up a different rhythm or trying to figure out how to play a combination he was hearing. This made me start to cry.

Why did I cry? Like, Literally cry?  I started to cry because I prayed for this.

While I was pregnant with both of my children, I prayed very specific things for them. Some things were physical, some prayers included interests and personality traits. I prayed that both of my children would be musical. I prayed that Lucy would particularly be gifted in singing and Abram instrumentally. Now I am not sure about Lucy (It’s not lookin’ good) but I can say that I definitely can see a love for instruments in Abram. He’s four, he is definitely not good yet, but I can see his passion da diligence to learn.

I always cry when I see my prayers answered in my children. It reminds me that God hears our prayers, even the really little ones deep down in our heart that we don’t think is so important. God listens, he hears, he answers. Now, he doesn’t always answer the way we would hope, or as soon as we would hope, but he does answer. [I am still waiting for my Whitney Houston voice and Ryan is still waiting to turn into a Monkey for a day (true story).]

Our children could have turned out any way He wanted them to, but that fact that God took my hearts desires into consideration, I am grateful. And thankful. And I feel loved and cared for because I know that someone is always listening and always there, even when I feel alone. Sure, I really hoped that my prayers would be answered, and I would have been fine if they weren’t, but this one prayer was, and, I use a lot of commas. <wink>

So anyway, today while he was up in his room doin his thing, I tried to sneak a few pictures and videos because I thought it was so sweet. Apparently I am not that stealthy because he caught me right away.

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PS. Everyone has rooms that look like this, right?

PPS. When can I stop buying Goodnights?!

 

=)

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Jehovah Jireh

Remember when I mentioned that one of the things I would like to “focus” on this year is contentment? Well, thankfulness and gratefulness come hand in hand with contentment. If I am being discontent, I am also being ungrateful and not thankful for what I have. It is a very sobering thought to label myself as “ungrateful”. But, Of course, that is what I am each and every time I am being discontent in something.

So, the point.

Lets just say that the first three days of the New Year have been nothing short of… well… difficult? Challenging?  I wouldn’t say I have been anxious through these situations because I truly believe that God will provide for me/us… like he does each and every day through every circumstance. BUT, I can’t help but chuckle and think: “Lord, what are you doing here?!”.

We spent the night in the ER on NYE. We are uninsured.

New Years Day, We had to have Ryan’s work truck towed to the shop because it will not start. Again.

Today, All of siding is falling off of our house because of the snow and the wind.

Thankful? I should be thankful for these things?

I am not sure how we are going to cover all of these expenses. I don’t know how I can deal with my pride and “fear of man” (a churchy phrase for “what people think of me”) when our house looks crappy because of the missing siding. I don’t know what I will do if something else happens. Please Lord, nothing else!

BUT-

I am thankful. I am thankful that you are my provider. I am not happy that these things are happening, but I am thankful, grateful, that you are taking care of them. Taking care of us. You will take care of these things as you have taken care of everything else.

“…for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8

“Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me…” Psalm 28 7

I am not telling everyone this for pity or charity.  I know that some of you may be experiencing similar situations and maybe, the faith that God has given me in Him, the comfort and the peace, the truth, may also serve you. Help you when you feel overwhelmed and anxious with expenses or burdens.

Take a moment to listen and meditate on the song below. It is very beautiful. It will serve your soul.

 

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The Search For Pleasure

I was born in 1985 to young parents who didn’t have the smallest clue as to how to raise a child. They did the best they could with what they had and what they knew. What I am about to share is not to reflect poorly on them but to display God’s goodness and grace in my life.

I would say that I would not sum up my youth as a happy one. There were lots of things missing and lots of hurt. Sure, there were good times and good memories but I am sure that most of us, or for a lot of us, the unfortunate things stand out most.

This post was inspired by the sermon we heard at church yesterday morning called The Pleasure Experiment based on Ecclesiastes 2:1-11. You can listen to that sermon here.  In a nut shell, the sermon was about how we seek pleasure of all kinds to satisfy the “emptiness” inside of us. I am sure you can relate that those moments of satisfaction, only lead to momentary happiness. We are left still feeling empty, unsatisfied and unfulfilled. That is, until we find the true satisfaction and fulfilment in Christ Jesus.

At age 8, I tried my first cigarette.

At age 9, I had my first sip of alcohol.

At age 12, I discovered the Hair Straightener. God’s gift to girls with curly hair. Hopefully this will help to defuse some of the bullying and ridicule I suffered throughout my life based on my appearance.

At age 13, I got my first job. I spent all of my money to dress in the latest fashions so that one day, hopefully I will be accepted and fit in. I will be popular.

At age 13, I became intoxicated for the first time and I also smoked Pot for the first time.

At age 14, I began to indulge in all of these activities on a regular basis well into my college years. I was becoming popular.

At age 16, I gave my “flower” to someone I barely even knew.

At age 17, Pot wasn’t enough and I started to dabble in the world of hallucinogens. I became obsessed with my recent weight loss and loved the attention I was receiving from others based on my new body. Wow, it feels good to finally feel pretty.

At age 18, I continued in my drug, lust, sex and idolatrous lifestyle. I began to live a double life and hurt many of the people I cared about. I could not wait to leave my home and move onto better things. Until then, I would spend every night with my boyfriend. I lost my first job and started to rack up credit card bills to support my lifestyle until I found another job to pay for it.

“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

At age 19, God answered the many tear filled prayers I prayed throughout my life. He brought me to himself through amazing Godly people who had a heart for the lost. I became a member of God’s family in the spring of 2004 (This may sound cultish to those of you reading who are familiar with church lingo so in short, this just means that I became a Christian). I have never felt truly satisfied or indescribably joyful then the moment that I accepted Jesus to be my Lord and savior.

Yes, I am still a human (or “sinner” for more Church lingo) and often look to the world and the “things” in the world to satisfy my lusts and desires. But I know that it is only Jesus Christ who can fully satisfy and bring me true pleasure in my life. Psalm 16:11 says:

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

Thank you Jesus. I can stop searching and trying to fill myself with every worldly desire to try to make my life “happy” and meaningful. I know that it is not the new living room sofa, the new home with that open floor plan I have always wanted, it is not those super cute Frye Riding Boots that would look awesome with my new jeans. No, none of those things will satisfy me the way that you can and do. You are more than enough.

Please Lord, help me to remember these truths on a daily basis when I am tempted to be discontent with where I am and what I have. You have given me everything I need in your son Jesus. Amen.

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As The Towers Were Falling

On my way home last night, I was listening to the radio and happened across this testimony of a man who survived the attacks on The World Trade Center. When I arrived home, I could not get out of my car. I sat in my driveway and listened. Envisioning. I could not turn it off. This is one of the most powerful things I have ever heard.

Powerful.

Amazing.

You will not be sorry for listening to this.

Or, you can watch this version:

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a little thing I found…

I recently came across this little website. It is perfect for me. I think it could be perfect for you too. You should check it out. It is called Flourish.

According to the Author, Flourish was created to become a “community where we encourage and learn from one another… a community of women who love each other and love the Lord”. Who doesn’t need that? We need one another. We always need encouragement. We always need God’s word. This site combines them beautifully.

One of the Authors of Flourish I have been following for a while; her Blog is called: The Anderson Crew. You may have checked it out before as it has been on my side-bar for quite sometime. She has a pretty fascinating family dynamic. She is a really gifted photographer and she loves her children.

I don’t know her personally so this is just my opinion.

Check it out wont ya’?

 

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Abram: One Month

I know I am going a little out-of-order since I still haven’t written about my birth story but I wanted to get this in before I forget. And, I only have a few minutes to write, the other story will take me a lot longer to write. It’s a good one! lol

So, my baby is one month old. Can ya believe it? I certainly can not!!

I call this picture:Sacrifice. Sacrifice is sharing your blanky with your little brother.

11 lbs 15 oz. Chunker!

He is smiling, coo-ing and I swear he has rolled over three times. I think he is too young for this to be intentional but I saw it happen.

Abram is an amazing baby. Definitely easier than Lucy but that could be because I have a better idea as to what to do with a baby this time. He is very laid back. He eats very well and sleeps great. I am spoiled and so blessed  (I am very sorry to all of the Moms who have babies that do neither of these things well. I wouldn’t have made this information public but this is sort of my Baby Book so I kind of had too. Please forgive me if this makes you upset -eek! Call My Mother-in-law, she can help you! Ha).

Abram has really cute dimples just like his Daddy. He has Lucy’s eyes. Definitely Ryan’s temperament. Maybe he has my knees? I’m not sure yet. Ha-Ha. It’s okay, I am glad he is all Price, he is a boy and that is how it should be. Plus, I think his Dad is a stud sp hopefully he will be too.

He has had a bad case of baby acne but that is clearing up. I guess that means it isn’t currently bad, but it was.

The hardest thing about having a boy? The diaper situation. That kid has things squirting out everywhere. I did not think such things were possible, but oh they are!!! Thank goodness we have hardwood floors. That is all I have to say about that!!

He does not spit up. I didn’t think babies didn’t spit up but apparently they don’t. With Lucy I was washing burp cloths every other day and I have a massive amount of burp cloths. I assumed that was how all babies were. I use burp cloths now to cover up his p****, not for spit up. {wink}

I still think nursing is one of the most painful things ever. It only took three weeks for me to heal and not have any pain. Why do I do this?!

When Abe was first born I am pretty sure that he has/had a sensitivity to dairy which meant I had to cut dairy out of my diet. Waaaah! I am grateful for that now because I couldn’t eat Ice Cream and I learned to use other foods besides cheese to flavor things. The DR says he is normal now so I can start eating dairy again but I am going to do it slowly and really try not to eat as much of it. I actually have come to enjoy it somewhat but it really does limit my choices which has been very annoying.

Back to my pre-baby weight but my body is not in pre-baby shape. I need to jump back on the workout wagon. Was I ever on a workout wagon? Ah, well, I guess I should just start working out. Or, something.

Lucy l.o.v.e.s. her brother!! Oh my goodness. She can not hug and kiss him enough. She does try to hold him and pick him up which is kind of scary so I have to be careful. I thought I was doing a good job yesterday when I put hin in the crib when I left the room for a minute only to return to find Lucy also in his crib. Oy. She is very helpful and does not seem the least bit jealous. Praise God! I did not know how this was going to go over…

I love him so much. Of course I think he is the cutest thing ever. It is amazing how one can love someone so much. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love Lucy but I do. What a blessing he has already been to our lives, just in one short little month. Being a family of four is so much fun.

Don’t w0rry, all of this has come with difficulties as well. It has not been all rainbows and sunshine. My lack of sleep has caused me to become way more irritable with Lucy so I am constantly praying for patience. It is not that she is “bad” she just likes to get into things and she is really independent which gets me really annoyed sometimes and instead of being merciful and patient, I get easily frustrated. It makes me sad because she is so sweet and I don’t want to be a “mean Mommy”, I want to train her lovingly and again, patiently. I want to help her and teach her, not snap at her and make her feel like she is inconveniencing me. It is also really hard when the baby has fussy time during bed time or dinner time. I feel like I am ignoring Lucy or brushing her off (I usually read her books before bed but often we have had to skip them because of the baby) when I have to attend to him and it makes me sad.

The other difficult thing is that right after the baby was born Ryan had a HUGE commercial job which caused him to work 15+ hour work days for three weeks straight. That was TERRIBLE! Thank God for people who came by to help out and for bringing us meals so I didn’t have to cook. Not only did I have a brand new baby, a crazy two-year old, I lost my husband. Kudos to all of you single Mom’s out there who have to do this by yourself everyday.

It would be nice to actually get dressed and go out on a date for a few hours. Ah. One day.

Thanks for visiting. Sorry I have been MIA. I will probably not be posting too frequently for a little while. You know, still trying to figure things out.

Goodnight. It is nap time. Hallelujah!

 

PS. Can you believe there were two Abram’s at the Doctors Office yesterday! What in the world?!

 

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becoming a better wife by “putting off” old behaviors

First I would like to say that I know and understand that not everyone shares the same values and beliefs that I have. I am in no way trying to force my faith or view of anything on anyone. I believe in freedom of speech and I believe that what I believe is right and true. This does not mean that I judge you, criticise you, gossip or look down on you for having your own thoughts or opinions.  I write about my experiences and my life and I do it in hopes to bring joy to others, inspire others and possibly challenge others. This post would be more of a challenge to others.

I write to a very mixed audience and it is hard sometimes to appeal to all audiences. I ask that you read what I have to write with an open mind and open heart. Not because I am trying to change you but because this is how I live my life, and it works for us.  Even if you do not share my beliefs, you have to admit that the principles are good ones and you would probably benefit from trying it out in one way or another. =0P

So, on to my planned post for the day…

Colossians 3:5-14

This passage challenges us to set aside the poor behaviors that always get in the way of a healthy marriage and put on a “new” character (specifically the character of Christ since that is who we should be striving to be like).

As I am reading this passage I am thinking about one specific trait that is the hardest for me to let go, and another godly trait that is hardest for me to “put on”. I call these “put off” and “put on”. You put off a negative behavior and you put on a positive one. It is like trying to quit smoking… you can try, but it is easier if you have something to replace that habit.

Basically what this verse is saying is that once you have committed your life to Christ, to live as a Christian, you are no longer a slave to the world or a slave to sin and the struggles you face. You are alive and have freedom because you trust in Christ and have placed your trust in him. Therefore the sins or the “struggles” that you once were enslaved to or apart of have no hold on you any longer. The passage is asking you to get rid of the “old self” which was you before you “became a Christian”  and put on a “new self”, a positive character, follow Christ’s example. There is more to it… but this is the main point that as I am reading I am trying to think about. It is a brief and rough explanation but I just wanted to give you the gist of the passage incase while you are reading it you have no idea what it is saying. Sometimes the Bible can be like that. I find that the more I read it the more I understand it.

_______

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:5-14

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Now this verse is not marriage specific, it is appropriate for all seasons of life. I just happen to be thinking about my marriage and how I can apply this verse to my life in a specific area. I know that there are certain people or situations outside of my marriage where I can and should resolve to change but for the sake of this post I am only going to talk about my marriage.

So, what is my “put off”? Well, I guess I am going to have to say lust. Lust (any strong desire; to have a strong desire) in my case would be evident in our relationship like this: I want my house to be prefect, pretty, unique and well decorated. Not a bad desire right? Not really. But, when that desire is so strong that I start to complain about little messes, things I don’t have, things that don’t match, things I want to make our house better, it starts to put a strain on our relationship and causes that little desire to become a big problem.

What is my “put on”? Honestly I could stand to put on every positive trait that is listed but I will pick one that will compliment my put off. Patience. Oh how patience is so important in every area of my life. I ask for patience on the daily because I am not patient. Patience is the ability to endure provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain with calm and strength. The ability to tolerate delay. Thanks dictionary.com! Well, that is pretty plain and simple if you ask me. God has given me everything I have ever wanted or needed and guess what, I didn’t get it right away, I had to be patient and wait. The dirty sink… it was cleaned. Maybe not when I wanted it done but it is clean now.

So really I think the next step for me would be to confess to Ryan how I recognize that I am failing in this area and ask him to forgive me (really I need to confess this to God first). Just because he is not currently mad about it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t ask his forgiveness. He deserves it. Then I am going to ask him to help me to be more patient. I am going to ask him specific ways and areas I can work on it and allow him to call me out if my desires are causing me to sin against him, my family or our friends.

My desire is to always be striving to be a better wife and a better person (I know “person” is vague but I am too many things to list). I know that I can’t do that on my own and I am glad that I have help. Help through my faith in Jesus and help from my amazing husband, family and friends. Wont you join me in this pursuit to put off our sinful earthly desires and behaviors and put on the positive character of Christ.

❤ y’all

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